I’m in the company of people everyday; at work and at home, and when I get the time to be alone at night, I’m just too tired already I’d rather just sleep. But sometimes I really need to be alone, you know, talk to myself, calm my overthinking, overworrying mind, organize my thoughts, read, write, catch up on myself, get my creative juices flowing. That’s just typically me. I love meeting people, I especially love going out with my friends, but I’m an introvert and being alone is how I recharge my energy. I get really uneasy and pretty cranky when I don’t get to be alone, when I don’t get my quiet “me” time, in a long time. And I’ve just realized lately that this might also be a cause of my major mood swings, my sadness and depression.
These past days I have been feeling really down, I need something new. It’s been a habit for me to do physical activities whenever I’m overwhelmed with negative emotions. I need to keep my adrenaline running or it’d get stuck and would just feed my negativity. I usually walk, but since time and distance constraints wouldn’t allow me, I decided to just take the stairs of our building instead of the elevator. I have also just found out that our building has a rooftop! I never really thought we had one since the last floor on the elevator is a penthouse, but we have a rooftop! Seems like no one ever comes in there, anyway. Which is good, I can have my own secret sanctuary! No one really uses the stairs and you could only access the rooftop using the stairs, you could use the elevator until the last floor but you’d still have to go use the stairs to get to the rooftop. Well, the stairs is really the most unexplored part of the building, seems like only the maintenance people use it. I blame it on people’s laziness, please, the building isn’t even that high! Sadly, though, I think they lock the rooftop door as early as late in the afternoon so though I would love to photograph the sunset from there, I don’t think I could.
Upon realizing the existence of our rooftop I immediately visited it and was hooked with how I can clearly see the beautiful vast sky from there. That’s what I love about it, the building’s not that tall yet I can clearly see the sky because there are no skyscrapers around us unlike in business districts where buildings seem to have a race of their own, trying to see which could stand taller, so when you look out the window, or from anywhere, you’d see another building. It makes me feel restrained, contained, caged, it makes me feel sad. Anyway, I brought my camera the next day and decided to be alone in the company of it and the photos I’m going to take. I spent my lunch break there alone, along with a book and a pen and paper, though I wasn’t able to read a lot or even write at all because I was busy taking pictures and looking up the clear sky. No worries, some other lunch break.
My current read; Invincible Louisa, a biography of Louisa Alcott, the author of the classic Little Women. I bought this last year but only got around to reading it now.
There was a cage full of doves at the rooftop. The personnel that I talked to said that they usually close the rooftop because of the doves, though I wasn’t exactly what about them it was.
Yours truly, the wandering little girl who was hopping around the rooftop upon her first visit there, too happy and thrilled. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, it’s the little things like finding out your building has a rooftop after months of working there, that would make you happy and would make a difference in you. Happiness is a choice, choose to see it in these little things.
I confess, I have never been on a plane.
The building nearby, it’s not exactly a skyscraper and it’s not blocking the view a lot so it’s okay.
I spent the hour walking here and there looking over the balcony railings, photographing everything, I actually spent ninety percent of it under the scorching sun, may I remind you that it was my lunch break, noon. I decided the photos were enough and I’ve already took in enough view for a day, I sat down under a tree shade and read a few pages of my book.
From where I was sitting, this was the view when I look up,
And this was the view when I look down. It was really nice.
The hour was done, I went back to our office, but what greeted me was the beautiful spilling sunlight from the window blinds. The kind that I’ve been imagining for months that would be great for a photo. I consider it as one of the gifts from the heavens, along with my opportunity to find out about our rooftop.
That’s muzcovado sugar, my daily dose of caffeine’s companion.
You might be wondering what’s the big deal about this rooftop, anyway? Why am I so happy and thrilled? It’s just a rooftop. I say because that’s it, it’s no big deal, and I try to see and find happiness in these little normal everyday things.
I consider my sadness the previous days as the key to this. Had I not been sad, I wouldn’t have been interested at all to find out about our rooftop, I would have just gone straight to our office using the elevator, not caring about everything around me. See, believe that everything happens for a reason, even the seemingly bad things, they happen for a good reason. Have faith.
You can see the whole album on my Flickr.